You won´t
buy a pair
of shoes (or
a dress)
without trying it first. You won't wear an old pant or new gloves
without feeling how they fit you on without giving it a try. Will
you?
In the moral realm, it was
not (and it´s not)
right you slept with
a virgin daughter before you married her. In
the Old Testament, there were
enough previsions in case she was found lacking the virgin chastity
is supposed to bless a virgin man but,
today, sexual
abstinence
is uncommon after you have had a
woman, who also had her children.
After you have had a single
sexual intercourse with
anyone, you've
probably explored those sexual areas a virgin person
doesn't know (in
practice, but in theory) and, even if virtuous people were totally
pure (physically)
as a whole, their sensual minds know they have human desires with
their passions (and
those crushes we already knew
with adulthood).
Desires come along with
dreams. Most of them aren't nasty, unless we've permitted they were
(and
God and Jesus are willing to heal us for the best).
Let's say I prostituted
myself to make my living (an “easy” living). Let's say I slept
with dozens of women to get money, and to please myself (with the
risk of falling in love with one of
those clients,
or getting any
STDs)
but that's an issue between God and me.
If someone came into my
life, she has no right to blame me for my promiscuous past, except
for the time I lived with her; because I'm supposed to be loyal
during a love
relationship, giving
her exclusive
sexual rights
to that person
who chose me (instead
of a dozen of handsome guys -much
better qualified than me-
who would insist on
to lure her away).
As a man, am I supposed to
be a burden to any people's life?
As a woman, are you
supposed to endorse another man what he didn´t create biologically?
Let me be plain on this: Do
your children (or mine) deserve to be raised by someone else
who did not procreated them?
One size doesn't fit all!
I loved one woman with all
my might.
She wanted me to take care
of her children, her life and additionally
wanted me to finish
building her house and, of course, I was particularly
unwilling to take
care of her children. If I had given her what she needed
economically, I know I would
have fallen
short to give her what she needed sexually, because
one size does not fit
all!
If I had all what
she needed sexually,
I probably had lacked
what she needed economically and, let me say speculatively
that -something
like these-
could be the things one Samaritan woman sought
when she had given herself
“a shot” on five men who had slept with her her
lifetime (John
4:15-18).
Jesus said: “Who
of you would give a snake when your children are asking a loaf of
bread?”
If any man doesn't give his
woman what she
longs, another
man would be willing “to hand
feed” her (and
her children, probably).
One size doesn't fit all!
Have you read about
Abigail's husband, Nabal? (1
Sam 25:3)
When that man suddenly
died (1
Sam 25:37-42)
David asked her to marry
him and, fortunately,
she had no children with that man, except five maidservants she took
along with her... Nabal was rich, but stingy and coarse, at the same
time... Could he be sexually
splendid at that mean
bed? And, thinking
about David´s first approach: How
come a refined woman chose a man she
has seen one single time?
She surely knew
her emotional
reasons! And you can
bet -as much as you want- that she asked Nabal's servants about
David,
first.
Love can be measured by the
way we're given to it
but... One size does
not fit all.
I can't talk about marriage
to a single woman, if
my stature does not fit the size of her dreams and needs.
I can't talk of what I want,
if I don't have anything worthy to give her,
in turn.
During all my life, if
I had matched
what other women have liked for
them -with all those things they
are willingly
to seek-
I would have stayed married longer,
probably. (Just think about
this, you
who are probably left alone)
The Samaritan woman Jesus
met (Jn
4:17)
lacked something she wanted from
a man:
a) Better sex?
b) A younger man to have her
own children?
c) A rich man, who
would be a good provider?
d) A handsome man she would
desire deeply?
e) Someone who treated her
better, they way
she´d dreamed?
God knows!
But, let´s
think of that woman
who was caught
in adultery. What was
it that she wanted?
No doubt it was lust and
sensual (physical)
pleasures but, Jesus did not condemn
her legalistically, the way we tend to do... However,
it´s easy we could
judge other people´s actions
but, are
we aware we wished a
sweet woman who
would love
us for the way we are? (And
not for the way she dreamed we were to
please her all the
times selfishly).
Yes! Let's admit
we
(men
and women)
are selfish,
and more
than once.
Jesus did not call her “You
sinner!”
She already knew who she
was, the moment she feared she was about to die stoned by “holy”
men. Instead, Jesus acted accordingly to what He said (Jn
12: 47b)
He came for (Jn
10:10) to
save us, same way His words saved that woman caught in adultery one
day (Jn
8:11).
I don't have any right to be
ashamed of the past life of a woman who loved me now. I don't have
any right to regret what she did (except
she had married me those days but)
the important thing I most keep in mind is
that it
is her right to make
use of her
free will, as I'm
also self-willed.
If I
get married with my
future wife, none of
both has the
slightest right to be
ashamed of those persons we have slept with BEFORE we've got married.
But I would feel undermined (and emptied) if she had married me for
money, and not for finding me big enough to be her man.
Don't you think a woman
would not feel the same if you married her for a wrong reason?
It's good she finds you
sexually and economically achieving, and
trustworthy.
Does this idea applies for
men, also? ;)
It's good you would find her
pleasing, and much more than the measure friendship and her homie
companionship would have offered those folks
who once were uncommitted friends.
The moment I see Jesus
visiting His friends in Bethany, I see how they probably
missed and loved one
another. The moment I saw how Mary loved Him (Jn
11:2) I
know how I wished to be loved... Won't you like to be loved that way?
I don't care if she was a
whore!
I don´t
care she had
loved another man more than me... I want to be loved, the way I am.
Don't
you want to
be loved too?
-
Caught in adultery.
When Jesus said we´ve
sinned each time we desired another man's woman (as
well as his possessions)
He was right in saying we've sinned from the inside out (Matt
5:28).
Married people get bored,
get (or feel)
abandoned and sadly
ignored by several
reasons we can not think of exhaustively -here-
but; we've
done that -too- inadvertently, sometimes.
We deserve to be stoned by
the truth (Lev
20:10) and
by those who loved God's truth.
We have run like that man
who left alone the woman he was “sleeping” with, the moment she
was caught up in adultery (Jn
8:4). If
she really loved her, he should have fought to set her free from
those accuser... Would
you have fought for her,
or run from her
to spare your life?
When a person keeps on
trading with her (or his) body to get thing$, we know what
prostitution is... What name would you give -a man- who fled to save
his life from his
unlawful things?
If an engaged or married
woman keeps on doing lawless and
unloyal things you
know
what name you would give to her but, when a man sins... Will you call
him “a man”?
Those persons who love to be
sought after they have got already married, fit into any sort
of disrepute we would
give them, just
to label a
sinful “identity”, particularly if they have hurt us (or our
loved ones). There' s nothing wrong if we've married one person who
-lone ago- had
indulged in those sins (their
past lives but) how
do we know their past is gone? And how we know those things do not
keep on visiting them,
as sins?
We need a
complete change of
mind. We need to be born again, to be set
apart from them.
If God asked me: “Marry
her” as He did
with Hosea (Hos
1:2-3), I
think He would give me enough love to love one person whose love is
hard to be trusted. My prudishness and self-preservative
instinct would be at
any risk, while I could be reluctant to be tested if
I trusted her; but
love is loved.
Won't you run from those who
looked to be
proned
to recurrent
self-indulgence?
If you see me crawling
around girls on her 20 - 30s,
get ready to run when you see I'm 54 years old.
Fortunately, young ladies
are smart enough to know old men cannot fit their body size (their
craving) and all
those human needs
that would appear later
on on a relationship with those age gaps...
There are
exceptions, of
course!
Will I buy a pair of shoes
without giving them a try?
Trademarks can be faked. I
can try a shoe too big for me but... Wearing them is another thing.
Will you buy worn out (and old) shoes just for you?
I doubt it! (Yet I know
there are -always- few
exceptions).
-
Quenchable thirst.
We have no information on
the type of men that Samaritan woman chose temporarily. We don't know
the exact cravings
of her human soul but, at least, we can infer she has a thirst that
could be quenched...
Were
they tall or short?
Were
they rich or poor?
If her
last
“seasonal”
man was rich,
that Samaritan woman would have sent a maidservant to get fresh
water, at noon. :)
We can “deduce” she
was bored with those homie chores she probably had there (Jn
4:15)
Was she pleased enough?
The good thing we have to
know it
is Jesus entered into her life... (to make her mind up).
Let me think she had a
“boring” sexual life... Do you think Jesus changed her mind?
(What kind of a trick He
would use?)
Many of us, repented
sinners, have had more than five women before we got married so, I
don't think the problem was -solely- in any of the
men she
chose beforehand,
but inside her cravings, too. What
do you think?
Many of us ever
wanted a super
model as wife,
while we lacked the spell or charms (and money) she would have liked
to spend at our cost. ;)
We wanted a woman who would
cope with all our demands, unachieved
dreams (ignoring our
own
personal
deficiencies) when it
was too late to see we never acknowledged those inadequacies we had
-for bunches- while dozens of ladies resigned (and passed by)
daydreaming things they wanted us to have for them... :(
What was that thirst I
needed to quench?
What would be my need to be
remarried?
If I needed an ex-married
person... Will that human being permit I gave her a try, as I did
with old shoes?
That Samaritan woman had
tried five times and was unwilling to be married... How many times
that adulterer (the
one Jesus saved)
had had
“another try” on another man who
wasn´t her husband?
The command is not to sin
(Jn 8:11b)
but, what would be our human unquenchable concern and
real need?
Jesus offered her
a spiritual
blessing (living
water) and the
prerequisite for
receiving
it was that
that woman brought her husband to Jesus' presence...
As old adults, you already
know the “unquenchable” thirst of life, when our bodies are
dimming, near to die, any day.
We've longed for enduring
and strong emotions. Sexually we knew the size and depth of our
visceral
likes and emotional
needs and, probably,
we're reluctant to let them go. Will
you deny yourself?
(and how long that will be?)
That Samaritan woman needed
the Lord Jesus to know her spiritual needs were above sex, above her
dreams and economic desires... Won't I see part of me is also inside
her bodily wants?
What was Jesus' ultimate
concern?
1) Her
human needs or, 2)
The blessing He would
bring in their married lives?
She probably realized: “I
need to be married first”...
Is it the same you and I need to
be utterly blessed?
It doesn't matter she chose
right or wrong the moment she met the Lord Jesus. Our past cannot be
changed, except the immediate future.
We can boldly say: “She
sinned” but,
how many of us would admit publicly: “I´ve
sinned more with these things...”
(and
with those we don't know?)
He came down to save
humankind,
and next time He comes, He will judge by His words: “Go. And sin
no more!”
We can infer her final
decision was following Jesus, as Lord and Saviour... What would be
ours, until the moment we die?
The Lord Jesus didn't
curse her, the
way Puritanism would, with hypocritical legalism.
Some of us, if
we could, would
deny the gift of living waters (Jn
4:10) but,
won't I ask God myself what He is willing to give me through His Son?
(Jn
4:15)
According to previous
personal experiences,
I don´t
think I would be married without knowing a woman as a whole: I don't
marry a nice looking face, but a person I need to know wholly.
I need to know her
emotionally, socially... but also physically, and sexually.
I don't care what your
churchy
opinion is!
I´d like to listen
to the opinion of
that woman who would probably choose
me to be her life partner and, since I´ve
failed more than
once, I don't want to
make the same mistake more than dozen
of times: I married a
woman whom I couldn't please well and, at the same time, she was
unwilling to please me, either. So, we
both have married unequally yoked.
An average Eunuch won't be
really pleased living a life of celibacy like Adam, when he was alone
without Eve but,
God knows our fears and, also, our human basic needs. It's not only
for sex we human beings have craved, but for love, for that one we
all have a recurrent
want, and
a thirst.
If an old man (or
woman)
could be happily married to a young virgin without further
complications, everything would be perfect, in
a perfect world;
but this is not
a perfect world we´ve
lived in.
If we all could get enough
money to buy the things our homes possibly lacked, there were no need
our ladies were gone out to work -within wolves- who want to devour
what we thought we could possess without any risk (Even we, as
Christians, have ignored the great command we
shouldn't covet our
neighbor´s blessings).
Life has shown me
unexperienced
and naive people have had sexual problems. Some way or another we
have known how our bodies were, and what they “needed” before we
were “perfectly” married.
No one thinks he
is a fool and, if
he was, present state of secularism will “inform” him what he
inadvertently ignored, even when they were kids.
Do you believe in blind
dates? I don't, anymore.
If I don't get enough money
to feed me and take care of myself, I don't have the slightest right
to think I would look after another person: I'm
all wrong, if I thought it so!
I
shouldn't think of you if I lacked any social needs. I could not be
engaged in
a relationship with
anyone who is quite different from me: If I'm a homie bird... I need
a bird with similar feathers. :)
You
probably liked wearing jewelry, but I don't. You´ve
loved
traveling a lot, but I don't get enough to please you... I'm all
wrong!
There
are things I disdained to live my simple life (which is not suitable
for you): If you're taller, I'm short.
If
you are thin or skinny, I could be shabby and ugly (just for you).
Those who are fond of being
admired, like a
model and popular girls,
would want things that I don' t do or
possess (I
Tim. 2:9; I Pet. 3:3).
-
I am wrong, too.
This month I met one lady
who is one my
mother's friend. I enjoyed the time we shared together and I think I
liked her enough but, the moment I knew she had her lover somewhere
else (not her husband) while she seemed to be willingly to another
love affair, I shrank back... The
moment her mother saw
me around, she played
some jokes on one of her sons, telling him he needed to acknowledge
me as a new
in-law. Fortunately,
my mother's tips gave
me a clue to know I was wrong so, I pulled back ASAP,
because I have spent my life unsuccessfully in too many things
before.
Retrospectively, I can see
that those women I loved, really belonged to those men they liked and
longed for... But,
what was it the reason they also were left,
one way or another?
One size does not fit all!
If you have liked a woman
who has liked you in turn and -at the same time- she likes the
butcher or has a crush on another man, you probably chose her wrongly
(same way a woman picked you oddly when you had a crush on several
girls, at the same time).
I would not run from a
Samaritan woman, but just from one who has not made her final
decision.
My thirst of life is not
less than hers, and certainly it's no more than any person.
I don't like living a life
where I had to compete for anybody's love or attention, as if it a
loaf of bread to
survive. I'm not made
to spend my life crawling for things, for love or sex; because those
aren't the things I'm completely aware of that one
size cannot fit all.
Each person is aware of the
size of their own needs yet, however
they could be
ignorant of my wants or yours. It's supposed each person grew to be
able to provide for their own basic needs and, if they've loved, they
could also work to help other people get their necessities satisfied,
because perfect love should be mutual and
kind.
How could you please someone
whose longs are for another man (or woman) you are not?
I heard that Christopher
Reeve had an accident riding
a horse (1995)
and ended up (2004)
in a wheel chair...
How could he loved his wife sexually after that problem he had with
his broken body? What a predicament for both spouses! They had some
money but, only God knows how they dealt with that sexual
deprivation.
If I looked at Lazarus, or
at the Lord Jesus, I could get some spiritual
refreshment. Jesus knew what He came here for and Lazarus, the
beggar, didn't have an exact clue to know why he needed to live a
poor life like that.
Have a look on these words:
“What man is
there among you, when his son shall ask him for bread, will give him
a stone?” (Matt
7:9)
If my children asked me
food, I know what to give them. Secularly
talking, if my wife
asked me one single thing, I had better to give her what she actually
needs, otherwise,
another man would come to give her
what she needed...
How long a person could be denied of
those things they missed out?
For decades, I've had the
secular impression that many people left their churches because they
lacked anything they eagerly wanted. Those who felt denied and
utterly neglected, went away back
to the world; and I
see God inspired men
to write
about them in the Old Testament (Ezek 16:30-34) as if those had done
like a prostitute who bribed them for lust, instead of receiving her
dued “salary”...
I can admit what I've done wrong. I'm not willingly to live a life of
self denial or deprivations, particularly when I can't see clearly
your cross is bigger
than mine (although
I cannot prove my cross is heavier than yours).
Ha! Ha! Ha!
The best answer I have seen
is this Jesus said to Peter:
“When Peter saw that
disciple, he asked Jesus, "Lord,
what about him?"
Jesus answered, "What
is it to you,
if I want him to live until I return? You
must follow me."
” Joh 21:21-22
Sometimes it's hard to see
what this Christian life really is. Jesus' apostles left their stuff
and took their wifes somewhere...
Paul also spoke of
“his rights”, as an apostle (or
man) where he claimed
he had similar rights to marry a Christian woman, along with his
teammate Barnabas (1Co
9:5 Have we no right to lead about a wife that is a believer, even
as the rest of the apostles, and the brethren of the Lord, and
Cephas? )
The keys are around these:
a) We
ought to know how (I Pet.3:7)
b) Giving
them
what they need (I Tim. 5:8, 6:8; Ephe. 5:33).
But what about those who
lacked someone to love sensually, such as the poor Lazarus... and the
Lord Jesus?
The Other Rebekkah?
We have no exact clue why
that Samaritan woman went to collect water to that well. Jesus stood
by it, the moment she arrived at noon. We can infer she needed water
to cook her lunch and, if we dared to compare Jesus with that man who
prayed to meet Isaac's future wife (Gen. 24:15) we can speculate
Jesus match made her with the man she chose. That woman probably had
lost her virginity with previous men, but all in marriage could be
pure and new.
We should not assume Jesus
was teaching about those “five” ministries only Paul, the
Narcissist Catholic teacher (I
Tim. 1:1-2, 7)
mentioned on Ephe. 4:11... For
God's sake! Jesus
wanted to bless her with living
water, instead!
He didn't want to give money -or fame- those who longed to get them
as
new assets or to make some economic profit.
What type of man that
Samaritan woman had?
Was her
future husband
praying for her, the moment she reached out the Lord Jesus at that
well?
We have no way to grasp if
her last man wanted
her fully
committed to live
with him.
Jesus offered her living
waters and, the
prerequisite He asked -before she was given it- it was bringing her
man along with her, in front of Him, the Giver.
Do you need to be blessed
that way,
also?
1 Pet. 3:7 shows there are
hindrances impeding to be blessed spiritually. I don't exactly know
what kind of sins are blocking my way to be blessed. Could they be
lust, unchastity, envy, a wavering character tossed back and for each
time a woman appeared close to me?... You name them!
That woman needed to make
her ultimate decision, and Jesus was there to help her to clearly
see. Afterwards, she acted accordingly, preaching in her hometown
about Jesus, and that showed coherence in what she really
believed.
Did she reach her future
husband out?
Was he compelled to meet the
Lord, to receive His blessing and living water together?
We don't know! But he was
there (Jn
4:39-42)
One of the things I liked
most on this account it is that no
one appeared to
be judgmental seated
on the judgement seat of Inquisitors.
That accounts showed us,
simply, one Samaritan
woman who
believed (along
with many people of
her hometown)
and, after
two days of ministry with Jesus, they
were more (Jn
4:40).
It's worth noticing that
that Samaritan woman came into this bucolic scene doing the job of a
poor maidservant (same
way like Rebekkah did in Genesis)
and, afterwards, she
became an Evangelist:
“He told me
everything I have done”...
;)
By inferences, we “know”
the man she actually had, was not rich. Otherwise, that chore would
have been done under the sun by her servants.
The world do not spin around our ideas.
This weekend Charles asked
me something about my ex-wife businesses. I had no idea on what to
say, except the moment he commented something about the woman my son
chose: “... She
looks too thin”,
he said.
Charles is tall and fat and,
according to his emotional environment, it seemed he also thinks the
rest of this world should be the way he is (but it is not). Should
“my” world be thin
and short
because I´ m both things? Nope!
This world do not spin
around my ideas neither around
our likes nor
preconceptions. It is as it is! You've liked what you've liked, but
everyone is
entitled to like what they've liked.
Jesus invited us to do
not judge things by
outer appearances and, if we gave them a try, He wanted us to be fair
(but we're
often unfair).
There are dozens of
Samaritan men (and women) longing to drink living water. These have
liked -and lived- with bunches of people they used for
a season, with a
temporal purpose but, Jesus is still there willing to bless any of
them to make a right
decision.
If celibacy was intended for
all of us, God wouldn't have given Adam a wife.
If loneliness was the best
state of life, I can't wonder why I haven't found more men like John
the Baptist in the woods where I've been.
Someone recently told me:
“Seek the Lord!
And choose to live single, like an
eunuch...”
What a shame!
Those who have given that
advice -so lightly- are married, and they normally slept with someone
they liked and loved.
Who am I to give an advice if
I'm not practicing
it in
my secular life? ;)
If I'm enjoying the
pleasures (and
good things)
of this life, am I worthy to be heard?
Jesus was single.
John the Baptist and Lazarus
died as single men. Am
I any better than any of them?
I cannot grasp the full
dimension and depth of God's spiritual love but, I'm sure any of us
know the pleasure of being loved completely, being the persons we
are, with whomever you could be (not
for being the owner of anything a person craved or covets).
If God (or Jesus) blessed me
with anything or some
one I had loved, I
will enjoy myself more than Lazarus enjoyed his earthly restricted
life.
The moment I think in those
men (or women) I have seen, I know I was given something more I
utterly despised or left.
Thank you Lord!
One size cannot not fit all.
(Updated) July 24, 2015