How does my today's prayer was answered.

I'd like to testify, although God needs nothing from me...

Recently I got Leishmaniasis. Some vector, like any mosquito, bit me recently and, by the moment I went to the doctors, two of them just gave me antibiotics, and that was not the way to fight against this in my leg.

I haven't received the specific treatment yet. Some preliminary tests have been done and the suspected illness has been confirmed: Leishmaniasis in left leg.

Last night I was worried (upset, in fact). I didn't know where to go, I didn't know what to do, so I wrote my short prayer in my mind and left a little part of my concern on God's good will...

In the morning I wanted to run to find a quick answer. I could have gone to a well known hospital in the downtown, but I stayed near my PC and started to work on some things I had pending.

I did wrong (now I know it) but I was worried not knowing what to do. Have you been like that?

I briefly asked God some direction on where to go and what to do, while I was walking.

Loudly I prayed before crossing the first avenue on the unknown way where I started to walk. I had no idea where my steps would lead me, but I could not be stopped doing it. Then I asked God for His help and, when meeting motorcyclist driving, I asked Him to be protected from those drivers I hate for some reason I won't mention here...

I went to one emergency hospital. Then I walked to another near the first one... Soon I went to another on the same direction and founded out none would be of great help.

When I turned back to my mother's house, I stopped to check if any of these firsts could serve me to have some blood tests. The first hospital I have visited was the only of those medical centers enabled to help me. There I received some hope and, I knew if I had enough money in my pocket, I could pay for many of those tests (but they were 17 blood tests).

To be assured I was doing the best thing I went and passed by some private clinics, just to see prices and how these things could be done... There were too many people. I hate long lines, so I left.

Two days before, I received some directions I considered coming from God (I use to keep some tracks of certain CIRCUNSTANCES).

I wasn't in the mood of asking my family to help me. My mother, my suster and brothers know I'm in need of help and, in fact, I seldom asked them for it. I rather like asking God for HIS. He will never give you a thing to remind you He was the giver.

I walked several more blocks to save time. The motor vehicle traffic in Ccs is awful these days, so I wasn't in the mood of paying to be largely sit inside a car -doing nothing- while it is stopped (or packed) in the middle of any street or avenue.

I remembered my sister mentioned a hospital. She named it by name, and I had a phone text message telling me she could have someone working inside.

My sister is a very busy woman, so I walked alone to sort these things out... (but I wasn't alone).

There I asked and did the right things and, getting the exact information, I knew what I could do to get my blood texts taken for free at the same day (which worths more that anything I could pay later).

I saw a doctor and asked him what to do. I told him I am sick and needed some blood tests... He was kind and was walking with a nice looking woman, and he was willing to help (Thank you, Lord! You put both of them to help me on this way, as well as others).

I got the necessary papers and additional information. Otherwise, I was limited to wait for more than 3 days.

In the emergency room I met some female doctors and told them my case, just to receive their directions. Someone I don't know heard me, and asked her boss a permission. She wrote down my list of blood tests on a piece of paper for that hospital. You know how any emergency room could be crowded, but God brought some peace there so I would be effectively heard.

Four hours later I got personally those tests (which are within the normal rate) so I had to thank God again and those two doctors who paid some useful attention to my request (Her names be blessed too, God!).

I'm not used to pray long minutes or hours. I don't think it wise to look after God at my personal convenience, but now I needed HIM and someone else (those working inside the emergency room).

God saw who I am and how I feel when I had to go back to that hospital I used to go in my childhood to be healed from respiratory diseases I had (asthma).

He sees any who calls on HIS name, particularly, with a sincere heart (not for selfish conveniences).

These sores remind me my grandma, my dad and Lazarus' life. Can you imagine him bleeding, being licked by dogs or having flies all around? That's not my case! But I imagine a tired man, a person who has given up.

I have thought on the kind of friends Lazarus could possibly have had: Only dogs.

No real friends around, no job to depend on or reasons to rejoice.

Those sores were unfriendly and an ugly thing he had to face.

How many friends do you have when sick, poor and not healing?

Do they love you in a worst state?

I have seen some hermits! But those persons badly sick don't even dare to open their eyes to breathe.

According to my view, the sick feel worst than us who are healthy.

Circumstances may be knocking at your door to talk and to teach you something you have missed. It doesn't matter how rich or poor you are at any moment, God is preparing you to be in a better place.

I myself am learning to depend on Him on a daily base. I'm jobless, not retired, since 2000. When you get your money on a regular payment you trust that income to live at ease, if you don't spend too much.

Money gives you some kind of confidence you'd better leave: Trust no one, except God.

I wish I could hear His personal voice (This is one of those prayers I keep on repeating). There were times when I prayed often, on a regular Christian base, but I felt disappointing talking alone, so now I write and my words remain.

I testify He is alive, He gives you some answers, but I wish He be seen or heard.

He has helped me to live for more than 13 years. I work whenever He gives me the chance to work for anyone, everywhere. I'm thankful because I'm not enslaved with a job where I had to tie a necktie to my borrowed time. I'm jobless but enabled to serve, to help and teach others whenever it is required. So these circumstances are talking instead of some of my foolish wishes.

Money makes someone to be proud, but pride is not a good friend to be hold when you are weakly bossy or life has made you to be showy.

Money may speed up some earthly things, but real and spiritual ones cannot be bought or completely gotten. It is a tool I have to leave to be set free from its slavery: I can buy a medicine, but seldom health.

Why did God "spit" on Mary (Miriam) to be out for a week?

Mary or Miriam, the sister of Aaron and Moses, was set apart when she claimed similar rights with his brother Aaron. She wanted to be a ruler in Israel and the account of Num. 12:2 tells me so.

Have any of you read on that lesson God gave them? (Num. 12:10-11)

God said something that could be an ancient custom for Jewish people (I don´t know). She was sent out for the rebelion she tried to partake with his brother Aaron (who, in fact, shared authority with his brother Moses).

What could be the lesson? Note Aaron was not punished like that, so I inferred Miriam (Mary) was stirring the issue against Moses (Num. 12:14-15).

In the long run, I think the precedent is on Gen. 3:16b, connected to I Cort. 11:3

What have you heard about this?

I wish God had clearified this thing for me.

The Original Pentecostal Movement was on Apostleship?

Todays Apostleships is a TRICK to emulate those PASSED days... By the way! "Are nuns (MONJAS) giving or leading Roman Catholic service?" (This idea was asked by someone, whose surname is Diamond).

I wish GOD would appear at the entrance of His todays tabernacle (which is not seen here). I wish GOD would speak ALOUD for us to correct and keep leading us as He was in the exodus with Jewish people, in old times.

I wish I see His presence as a light THIS NIGHT and He were a CLOUD to cover US as a shield from false doctrine and misinterpretations but, as far as I understand the Bible, Jesus was predicted by MOSES and, when Jesus came, NO BIGGER doctrine was to be given, HE IS ENOUGH FOR US, His followers or believers; and God gave witness to HIS SON (not for any other man), so I believed what God once said: "LISTEN TO HIM..."

Jesus gave US and example. Being the one He was for His disciples, He gave US the last lesson on MANAGEMENT. He made Himself a SERVANT and washed the feet of 12 apostles. Are the apostles a rule of hierarchy or simply SENDERS, heralds, of that Good New? Jesus came to abolish or criticize the religious system of hierarchy priests made for their ECONOMIC BENEFIT. But I love reading Ezk Chap. 34 compared to Jn Chap. 10.

Nov. 5, 2013

I miss my Ex...

You are not alone there: "...I can't find a good guy who loves Jesus..." 

I have seen doctrinal differences in our Chritian denominations. Your understanding and mine differs, same way OUR ages, so these things make ANYONE to feel alone and isolated. I myself, when I was married to my EX wife felt that loneliness and, at the long run, I knew how Jesus felt when He was here on earth. 

You´ll find people (or children) to GIVE your love freely. Don´t get mad or disappointed when finding out they are not like you planned or wanted: They are theirs, the way they ARE. Don´t blame others for being and acting how they are. We also shared the faults when we made wrong "friends" with wrong people, because we got them wrongly. 

Keep on going! You are young. 

In my case, I don´t miss my EX-wife or any of my ex-GFs, but someone I could make my last enduring choice to keep on loving.

Church or people disconnected from people?

"... I wondered if I was truly saved, so much so that I had this question running through my head: am I going to go to hell because I don't want to go to church?..."

Allow me to say these things, and I'm not good at quoting the Bible without having it at hand: Are you saved immediately or by a life process?

I believe this is a process, but there is some tradition and teaching saying what you have said (time will tell).

I believe YOUR church is the temple of your body, same way as Jesus told others, challanging them to destroy it. How holy is your body temple? Mine is still being mundane.

My temple is crawling in some things I desired, those things I think I miss, and I can admit His Presence is not dwelling in me. In fact, I have real problems to have Him to come down or inside, since I don't know how to call His attention to my thoughts, longs or ideas I made words.

The church you have mentioned and tried to bypass is the same MANY still try to avoid for decades and centuries, but this happens when we have acknowledged the personal emptiness we all have, deep inside, without God and His Spirit.

How many denominations are out there?

How many churches claim to be "right" while millions follow -and seek- other "living" cult?
(Cults to the personal EGOs, by the way).

The real church is that ONE He will raise up, any day and TODAY, each day to be saved. He has made and still making His church (just see some people hear HIs personal voice, His dreams and spiritual warnings, while others lack His directions, because some are following rules and not His Spirit). I CAN BE COMPLETELY WRONG BY WRITING THIS, but I think I'm right. Are you as wrong as I am?

You or any could be as radical -or legalistc- as any may wish, but the church has gone to be pentecostalistic in the country where I live. You've mentioned your "1st church" (mine was one like those named "Churches of Christ") but todays the 1st church of many persons is that where you are pushed to give more money rather than helping the needy and their preaching is wealth and money, instead of real love (you are right on that) and those things are easily BALANCED when you assume your own selfcontrol to be you. Of course, if you don like people -like those I avoid in Venezuela- I will not say you are wrong, because I MISS not partaking in the "Lord's supper", which has turned to be a simple sunday's breakfast or that taken monthly or weekly. Didn't He say it was more important TO LIVE by His living bread?

Well! I 'd better stopping it here.

Public Confession

Let´s say my public confession is not exact, as it is. Let´s say I´m wrong, far from the accuracy of the view of my faulty feelings so, when Jesus comes, my nudity will be exposed to my shame in public.

Let me say there are things I never confessed, such as that lust I never pleased and those things I did or said that never meant.

I stole, I lied, I killed.

I did things the other way around.

I lied, I cheated. 

That´s why I know these hurt.

I do not write for you. I do write for my sake.

These words will not lessen my guilt. These will not reduce the condemn I deserve. 

I cannot hide my faults and these help me nothing to find alibis or a remedy.

I´m a sinner! And I am not proud of this. I did wrong. And there is no chance to change the past (but the present) to make things anew, as an amendment.

Resentments? There are! I made things wrong and hurt.

I did more things I should. I hurt instead of loving. I killed instead of bringing life; and there is no chance to mend or apologize. 

I abused the innocent. I lied to get physical release and cheated up to the moment I knew that hurts.

I wish I had known all these things I know now .

Will I change the past?

Will I be back to ask them to forgive?

I wish I knew what I could, but there's no time to cry over leftover. 

I'm leaving life and I don't know why I came...

A. Toro May, 2013

Love God

For decades I found it weird loving God. I could not understand why it was rare a woman (or a man) would like Him more than any other person. I grew up close to a Catholic church. I couldn´t see deep inside other things in the life of some Catholic priests I met. I found it very odd women or men would love someone they would never touch or hear and, in my primary school, I could not understand way men left part of their secular life to live as “saints” or women who left their homes to live with other women who have left their common life and some human longings.

I guessed many men had problems to love God, since He is seen as a man. I guessed many man needed the image of “Mary” to draw near God -as father- and Mary as the missing mother. Many lacked a supportive home, many had lost mom and dad, and they badly needed a family so, religion filled their emptiness, and no wonder some may they say: “If God and Mary will”...

Many turned to serve in a religion for being well disappointed of the world they wanted to live. People disappointed them and I myself had the wrong idea of thinking it would serve me to be far and isolated but, when considering their idolatry, the wrong beliefs I don´t have and cannot cope with, I shrank. 

Love, the way I understood it, was around the physical beauty I like, holding bodies, feeling visceral endorphine fluids and all that stuff involved with the ego and its passions: That is the Eros I thought it was first love. 

Out of my many misconceptions, the Old Testament says: “...Fear the Lord... love Him... with all your heart and with all your soul...” Deut. 10:12-13

I grew up in a nominal Catholic home. They knew too little of the Bible and “the Knowledge” they got was a second or a third hand experience of God (so they weren´t able to teach me about God). They had heard of the ten commandments and, when they think it right -at convenience- they failed to keep them as I did, as I do (I´m not any better than them and, certainly, not worst than many).

Yesterday I saw three men assaulted a man to steal him. One had the gun and the other two were “a shield” to avoid the man wearing the gun were seen from the public side of the dead-end street my mother lives... Why are so many people breaking the law? Firstly, we all are law breakers. Secondly, no one reinforces the law and thirdly (the most important fault we have to see) it´s we are not teaching the 10 commandments!

Deut. 32:46-47 says: “... you shall command YOUR CHILDREN to be careful to observe -all the words of this LAW...”

Are we doing this?

Christianity is just a section of many beliefs. Judaism is just a section of a big world which believes whatever thing we are pleased to do or believe.

We can blame society and the government but we, as Christians, are guilty too.

We can say God seems to be busy in His endless business, but we are taking long coffee breaks not telling our children “God enforces His law and will punish sin eternally”... Just see “eternity” begins here, now, on earth.

We received the command to teach OUR children, and we are unwilling to preach on us and on those we say “we cannot love” for the way they behave, for the condition they are now.

Society begins at home. Our loved ones are ours to be taught about God and his commandments. We can say we have no neighbors, we can bypass other families telling “they aren´t part of our responsibilities or duties” That´s quite right! But, when those children are grown up, their misbehavior, THEIR SINS, will affect us... I wish you were in Venezuela to see how! (I´m sure you have a broader scope on how Gomorrah or Sodom were, but I´m feeling like Jonas and asked God to help me be ultimately relocated abroad).

Most of the nations lack moms and dads teaching about God. We cannot love each other lacking God´s love and His enduring patience. Countries are ruled by evil man willing to make their business inside their government. Very few are chosen by moral values or Christian standards. God knows how hearts change while we work in the government or managing people. See Saul when he was a king. See many who were there to rule...

Loving God is a must. We cannot love Him when disobeying His laws. Human “love” is not holy without Him. Human laws are not always fair, but God´s are fair and just.

It´s true that you will not be welcomed at your own home, your loved ones or at your own people. You will not be heard in your hometown or country but, as soon as you turn to God, He will help you to be heard, same way He did with Moses or Jesus. The thing is submission! (You´ll be under His hand and His mission).

I said that I understand why men turned to “Mary” because she “gives” the female image many men haven´t seen in a nurturing Father who is willing to give His breast or chest. Jesus used a parable of a hen looking after their chicken in Israel. Have you seen that “female” side of God, who created man as man and woman to be a woman? God has not an unholy approach to sex, since He created it for our joy and to get children, as men or women.

I just felt like holding back some tears -within me- when thinking about the way God is: Have you ever thought He is jealous about you and because of you?

Ezekiel has a long chapter showing God is jealous about Israel. He saw “her” as His woman. One who went away -like an adulterer- and God preached and, after telling her His truths and point of view, He wooes her, He forgives her... That´s His “masculine” side and standpoint!

Why does God want me to love Him? Because His commandments are OUR life and for OUR good (Deut. 32:46-47)

We wrongly learned the law is restrictive. I believed each law is not to set us free (and here I´m thankful for the reading of “Experiencing God”, by Henry T. Blackby and Claude V. King). Why do you asked your children not to run? Did you asked anything of them to be selfishly pleased or to keep them safe and alive?

When I gave my hand to my children it was to PROTECT them, to avoid them fall. When I walked with them, it wasn´t to show I was their bossy Dad, but to look after them, to share my life with them within a caring relationship.

Today, we missed that godly command to teach our children and endorsed OUR responsibility on public teachers and on a society of pagans or “free” sinners. We´re not living the life God planned for us, but the life the evil one gave the world.

My whole life needs being in love with God. Human freedom comes when I submit myself to what God requires in His loving directions and commandments. Human law codes are but a bad copy of God´s plan for us, spiritual and human beings. I cannot love you if I don´t love God well. I cannot love me, if I don´t love God´s design in me. I will not find you if I try myself, alone, without God´s directions: God made me to love Him first! Later on He will give me what I lacked and searched alone.

I spent 50 years to find nothing. This morning I saw how I felt when meeting one woman I once loved, more than my life. Does it feel good? Have you seen why many came to be hermits or priests?

God made this world so we could turn back to Him. You may own your world and something -deep inside you- cannot be quenched (and it is His love).  It is real love! (an enduring one).

Well! Suppose you have sorted out your personal dislike about you. You have overcome resentments and fully acceptance comes for you and for others. Great! Does this comes from others? You love you and began to love others... Do they love you, as you are?

There would be a moment when you could feel despised, dismissed and not heard. Does this affect you? Of course! It could be any moment when you are old or young. There´s not a clear time for that to happen but, how will you deal it?

Job felt his life miserable, his wife showed little respect when saw him sick... Noah lived an evil time and God destroyed it to build a new world order and it is us, humans, who failed (up to the point sometimes God withdrew from avoiding human massive destructions). Has not He told He will punish our sins and transgressions?

We don´t love God because we don´t obey Him. If we trust and love Him we would do what He has said would please Him.

The society of unbelievers we are in hates God. Uncommitted Christians and Jews do not love Him enough because WE are not doing what He asked to be done and this is teaching all children to trust and obey Him FIRST.

The life we “live” is part of the things we did and failed to do. We prosper if we work, if we do things right and, of course, if you did things well. I could be failing as someone else is... We live in the society we built. If you work, someone else could be lazy (it could be me, your loved ones or you).

I hope these few ideas help you to develop a plan to attack the enemy. I´m convinced I don´t belong to the society I was raised, this, where I am in. You can build a big fence to leave your neighbor out and alone, but he is a transgressor (same way you are or were). You can uproot your trees far from those walls you built, but even dogs feed on your good fruits. Who can be uprooted far from this human soil? Dogs barked at the wrong trees...

Gomorrah is not a corner stone, but biblical history. Evil will not prevail... But I´m doing so little to get it removed, that I want to run away, far from these people I don´t belong, because I don´t know how to love them.

A.T.

El Burladero.

Hace pocos domingos, una colombiana me contó su historia de cómo se puso a vivir con Leo. Yo estaba en la tasca del club y me abordó mientras me tomaba un refresco y, recordando otros buenos tiempos, me relató esa historia que lleva más de 20 años. No tenía idea de lo objetiva o específica que son algunas mujeres, pero no todas son superficiales y, una vez más, sigo pensando que la Dios -en la mujer- corrigió bastantes defectos y, quizá, nos agregó otros... ¡Je! Je!

Hace años fuimos vecinos y jamás hablamos de tantas cosas (no tuvimos tiempo). Escucharla hablar me recordó mis meses en Colombia y, la verdad, estoy agradecido de Mónica, su gente, y tanto colombiano que -para nada- cesaré de guardar gratitud para lo que agradezco (o desagradezco).

Su relación con Leo fue tardía. Leo tuvo que hacer un gran esfuerzo, un proceso sistemático de conquista verdadera pues, invadía la mente de una mujer que traía su mundo de aprensiones, prejuicios, y los venezolanos tenemos tanta mala o buena fama, como cualquiera en el mundo.

Esta señora, ya con dos hijos, me daba cada detalle. Sus hijos parecían revivir el gozo de ese largo camino y, aun con tantos años, sus labios se gozan de alabar a su esposo. ¡Si la oyeran!

Ella, desconfiada como muchas, lo rechazaba tantas veces como pudo. No quería su amistad y, como ventaja masculina, Leo no tenía los encantos que ciertas chicas esperan; pero la perseverancia y su amor verdadero triunfó.

Leo, ciertamente, la pretendía. Cuando logró su amistad, que no fue algo nacido de días o pocos meses, y solía llevarla de paseo a visitar familias entre sus amistades. Como él era tan bien recibido, cariñosamente atendido por esas personas, ella comenzó a creer en la personalidad de Leo pues, para sí, temía que él buscase placer o una simple aventura.

Cada vez que tuvo oportunidad, con mucha prudencia, se informaba de Leo, si tenía hijos, otras mujeres, si era siempre tan responsable ¡Cosas así! Y, para fortuna de su esposo, éste quedaba como un caballero, como buen hombre. Y pude deleitarme en el brillo de sus palabras, sus observaciones pues, gracias a Dios, esa pareja se quiere ¿Quien se aguantaría más de 20 años, si no hubiera amor?

Jamás pensé que la astucia colombiana fuera tan hábilmente empleada. Ella, todavía a su edad, manifiesta la agudeza que la caracteriza y, por supuesto, como un par de viejos jóvenes, hicimos comentarios de la presente juventud y, me sigo quedando bobo: Las chicas de hoy vuelan, o corren muy rápido.

Entiendo que hombre y mujer siempre se buscaron -unos y otras- por la conveniencia de algo. Hoy, para ser más específico, las carajitas de 15 pueden haber tenido más de 3 maridos; y no estoy hablando de novios o pretendientes, sino de hombres, con quienes se acostaron y nunca se casaron.

Fui lento y tardío para muchas cosas. Sin embargo -también- vi o padecí otras que desearía no haber vivido ni visto, porque no tenemos absoluto control a lo que siempre pasa. Pensé más en el beneficio sexual que en el vínculo del amor y, en mi ignorancia, lo vi más como un yugo o sofocante lazo. ¡Cada cultura nos lleva a casos distintos!

Hoy, con la libertad de lo que se tiende a desinhibir, podemos oír -o decir- lo que desea cada mente.   Inhibidos o no, por el pasado o lo que se hizo norma, cada persona hace de su vida lo que quiere y, con tristeza y molestia, detesto ver cómo la gente se droga en la calle y perjudica a otras. La inhibición -si la hay- muchas veces es nominal y es uno quien, a la larga, termina por reducirse, por esconderse o alejarse de otros ¡Es un burladero! Te engaño a ti o me hacen creer que los engaño. Me engañas a mí, y tiendes a creer que, en todo, te creo. ¡Es tal la desconfianza!

Desconfianza y Crisis de valores.

Hoy ya no tengo tiempo, sin embargo, estos días (en CC), observé una forma de manipulación religiosa -¡muy vieja!- por cierto.

No es un secreto que se recurra a la masturbación como medio de alivio sexual. Cada quien hace de su vida lo que haga pero, en ese sitio, ciertas personas (casadas o no casadas) daban su veredicto, su pesada sentencia, en lugar de una solución.

Los que estuvimos casados sabemos nuestra vida sexual. Los que estuvimos solteros sabemos qué hicimos. Los que estamos solos sabemos qué hacemos y, la gran pregunta: ¿Cuál es la solución?

Esas chicas de 15 o menos andan tras la respuesta que nosotros, viejos y jóvenes buscamos. Quizá no sea sólo el placer, algo de aventura, pero el sexo puede ser una necesidad si se le tiene por adicción. Puede ser placentero dentro del matrimonio (y fuera de éste); pero qué solución aporta la religión, más que intentar “regularlo” como otro (porque no lo legisla ni lo regula).

Que yo sepa, de forma visible, no he oído haya “ministerio” para el matrimonio. Hablan tanta paja del “Liderazgo” -tan parecido a la mercadotecnia secular- que sólo se concentran en el crecimiento numérico de sus cifra$, y no en esa parte marginal que, numéricamente también, podría crecer.

En CC fueron muy elaborados en lo que ellos consideran (o no) pecado sexual. La masturbación está proscrita y, ciertamente, la alienación, la soledad y esa clase de aislamiento van campantes, separando una vida de la otra ¿Eso no es problema nuestro?

En el matrimonio -según entiendo- la gente se masturba:

·         En la vagina de quién tomó por esposa. 

·         En el aislamiento de su secreta incomprensión o inconformidad, que debe corregir.

·         En las fantasías que nunca te dijo (o no le cumpliste).

·         En la cama que ocupas, pero no llenas.

·         En los recuerdos de un vivo pasado.

·         En el presente de una relación que oculta.

·         En los secretos de su intimidad individual, por el vacío que produjiste (o se auto-produjo).

·         Otras (agrega tu lista, o las que han dicho).

Entiendo que no toda unión es saludable y, si algunos tienen dinero, carecen de la dicha para disfrutarlo. Si algunos duermen juntos, no siempre están felices y, si digo una mentira, soy “el único” que se ha divorciado (éramos una pareja de evangélicos) (no nos amamos) (no era real amor).

En varios videos XXX, me propuse entender l a la mujer y, la verdad, dudo entender a cada mente. En este estudio fisiológico que hice, comprendí la importancia de la virginidad. Si cada hombre y mujer se guardase (para el día del matrimonio) los problemas sexuales serían menos; pero un mundo satánico y caído nos engañó con muchas mentiras.

Allí, nada de lo que vi, era amor por el prójimo, sino “amor” y placer por sí mismo: Unas chicas se masturbaban solas y, un par de otras eran lesbianas.

Esas chicas, por lo general, siguen un libreto, una pauta comercial y teatral -¡por supuesto!- Exageran la realidad para hacerla “buena” y deseable, para inducir un deseo en ti o en mí, para que te aísles o perviertas y -la verdad- te hacen daño sin que lo percibas, pero lo consientes.

En la intimidad, en la privacidad, cada hombre y mujer -en cierta medida- resiente SU SOLEDAD, el ser dejado al margen y el hacerlo a solas. Hay quienes recienten hacerlo a escondidas y, por ello, usan los videos, de la naturaleza que sea: Pero no es amor lo que reciben, no es amor lo que se dan. ¡Llamémoslo placer!

Yo, en lo personal, cometí el error (el pecado) de meter la pornografía en mi vida. Pensé que ayudaría mi relación matrimonial, mi desempeño sexual, y fue peor: Me divorcié. Ese dolor es emocional.

Por lo general, quienes son adictos, no saben las cosas que las mujeres piensan ni se ponen a soñar ¿Estarías dispuesto a compartir tu esposa con otro hombre?  ¿Prestarías tu mujer al hombre que puede quedarse con ella?

Toda mi vida odié la salsa y la música que detesto, sin embargo -para socializar- tuve que intentar bailar lo que no me gusta. ¿Ud cree que lo hice con gusto o que la prueba superé?

Fue una tontería participar en esas fiestas. Jamás conseguí la chica de mis sueños en esos lugares y -la verdad- las veces que me enamoré, nunca bailé ni dependí de lo que no me gusta... Su vida puede ser completamente distinta a la mía, pero yo escribo de mis vivencias, mis experiencias, a fin de aportar algo positivo.

He compartido con otras personas que me enseñan y les pregunto: “¿Estás dispuesto a compartir o prestarle tu mujer a otros hombres?” Si vieran sus caras, cuando entienden ese asunto...

Socializar, en nuestros días, es compartir muchas cosas, pero no comparto mi cepillo de dientes (menos mi mujer). Hoy, con ingenuidad tonta, amigos y amigas se comparten y, quien no se aperciba, pierde al hombre o a la mujer que más le convendría: La verdad, quien no tenga una sana relación con Dios, un respeto por lo que debe ser santo en ese santificarse, no es la mejor opción para nadie que desee vivir tranquilo.

Recuerdo algunas fantasías XXX ajenas... Les digo, debo estar loco, yo no las tengo y -ya de esta edad- cualquiera tiende a indignarse si veo bien a su hija joven, porque no veo a las gordas ni a las viejas ¿Es eso fantasear? ¡Pienso igual que ayer!

Uno de mis suegros, en sus momentos académicos, le mostró a sus hijas una serie de videos “para hacerlas entender” qué era el amor y qué no lo era ¿De veras lo logró? De sus cuatro (4) hijas, sólo dos (2) quedaron sin hijos, sin casarse. ¿Sirvió la pornografía?

Cada día, quizá algo más, la desconfianza prevalece y la crisis de valores aumenta. Si decimos que las mujeres “buscan dinero”, los hombres buscamos sexo libre, sin responsabilidades y a muy bajo costo. Si decimos que ellas buscan la billetera, nosotros buscamos la belleza o que no sean muy corridas. Pienso, en honor a la verdad, que cada persona tiene derecho a buscar lo bueno que desea pero, en esa búsqueda -sin matrimonio- hacemos más mal que bien ¿Cuántos de Uds desean ser abuelos en la adolescencia de sus hijos o nietos?

Sigo pensando que las iglesias DEBEN tomar un rol en esa área que carece de liderazgo orientador o casamentero. El problema no es sólo de crear familias, sino de mantener familias cristianas, como hijos de Dios, que siguen a Cristo.

Psalm 23

Someone asked me to write on this and I must confess I´m not religious (no matter what you may think). I love God, I love Jesus, but my opinion tends to be out of some traditions (or other´s opinions) and I do not care feeling or thinking differently: I am me as you are you. What a blessing! We both are individuals! Just see God is WHO He is when saying: “Don´t like to know me” (Jer. 9:6)

The Bible, as a bulk, has some poetry, love letters, and sometimes I enjoy them but, by the moment I read this psalm I felt it as simple rhetoric.

The Bible is inspired and -in itself- it´s inspiring, but I do NOT need more loving or kind words written: I regret missing deeds and those words I could not hear from Him.

I tried to compare the Bible in the Reina-Valera version with the Spanish New Living Translation, but I quit: One was in simple present tense and the other in future tense, as the motto of a promise...

Vs. 5b can be read in its “spiritualized” form, otherwise this is obscure; but I long to talk to God, I would like to hear Him in a chat. Can He be heard? Will I know Him by this second-hand experience?

Some may have found comfort and release while reading the Holy Book, but this is not an actual relationship to keep and, same way I´m telling you I have told God: That is not complete love... You could miss someone who left and sends you emails. You could enjoy meeting someone for skype or phone calls, but reading this -alone- is not enough to name it a relationship.

I do beg you to be understood. I don´t miss His hugs or loving touch, but His person and the best one to talk and hear of. Many have heard His voice (as a thunder) and some have said they saw Him (with His light) but, what I miss is Him, as a Person. How could I say that “I know Him”? All of this is a second-hand experience. I don´t care what David or Salomon lived, but my living experience.

Yes! He has done things for me. He has answered prayers and has done wonders for me, but I don´t know Him as a Person, and He is the best person I could be missing.

I have wasted time and too many years while guessing and making choices. How could I hear His voice, each time I´m away from His blessings or making the best choice?

I´m tired to guess, a whole life inferring... I need His voice, or the assurance of His guiding Spirit.

Errors are predictable while playing chess. My life has been so and this is near to end up, any day.

I need my life to be totally changed and this is not a simple stuff a human potter can break and make anew (Jer. 18:4-6).

I don´t understand life by inferring or guessing. May I find Him to talk or be heard?

I wish He looks at me closely... I cannot speak of Him with a second-hand knowledge or a third-hand experience. I need to live this up to witness He is real. Many people need His guiding voice, many are lazy to read a simple text message (like the Bible) and healthy relationships are built while talking, by hearing one another. That is what I ask for me and for those He knows need Him.

City people and country people need to talk and be heard. I know that by experience. We humans  -even having same citizenship, culture and language- lack full understanding to know what others need, but I think I cannot witness what I have not lived or understood. I don´t sell a product I haven´t tried, because -to me- it is like lying. Will you buy a thing by faith, without knowing it a little?

You may call it as many, it´s just “faith” that you need; but how can I tell those who badly need it: It is not God WHOM I seek?

Traditionally, I was told that God wants OUR trusting obedience. I know it but, am I too deaf to hear He wants to be known? (Jer. 9:6). Could I meet Him without hearing what He is talking?... Who am I to insist on asking? (I need you to be realistic, I don´t mind this I beg of Him).

Psalm 23:4b says: “you are close to me” or “I´ll be protected”. That´s OK, but this is not a complete loving relationship I live. Let´s say the writer´s inspiration talks about the Lord Jesus (or the author´s feeling) but this is not mine.

I don´t like to spent my whole life in a temple (23:6b). I don´t know God in that way to be His priest or servant: I see myself as an individual, with human and spiritual needs. Will that be enough for you? He is God, The Lord, a Spiritual Person I cannot see or hear...

It is easy to worship God when you see Him healing, showing His power; but I need Him as a Person (sometimes for a talk, where I can hear His voice).

Prayers are useless if these are just to ask things. I see them selfish when I go to Him to ask things, for me or others. I don´t believe these prayers are fair when I ask, not giving Him a thing in turn. What could I give Him if I don´t know what He wants me to give (or give up)?

Let me say this: When I like someone, I like to meet that person closely. Let´s say she is far or I went away: I call! (I phone call). Do you like simple words lacking its full meaning? I like to see, smell, touch and hear. Who gave me my humanity and being? This is not simple faith. Did Moses meet God? Did the Jews hear Him talk to Jesus (at His baptism) or while the Lord called Lazarus from the dead? He is the same Lord I believe, but I long to hear His guiding voice. I don´t trust any longer my decisions or will.

I agree with those who say deeds speak volumes. Words are complete when they walk with simple deeds. If you love someone, show it and make it true. Words are empty without deeds, and facts are coherent with those things you may have said.

I don´t dare to say: “Jesus loves you” when some needs His assurance and His complete confirmation. How could I make Him (God) comes to help the needy? The Bible shows many people experienced God in their personal life, but I don´t have the power to help those who need Him to be seen or heard: I just need your living WORD, God. Just tell me what I need to do!

There is a book I have read “Experiencing God” (written by Henry Blackby and someone else). I used to read it and checked how the authors learned to hear God´s voice. Good! I recommend to read it, but I haven´t learned well. Perhaps I´m in sin and many things are wrong in my life, but I will insist on this: I want to hear Him.

David spent 14 years before being a king. He was anointed by Samuel -and soon after- he was an outlaw and ran and hid... Do I want a kingdom to be a king? No! That´s useless, like a big palace where I have to do all the chores.

I do long for few things, but these are worthless without you, God.

What my life serves for, if I cannot hear of You, God?

I am lost, screwed up and wrong, that my dream is useless and my sleep is restless.

Why am I here, with people I do not belong? (I John 3:18; James 1:22).

I want YOUR words become true...

A.T.

Has God made someone just for you?

I have seen many seem to believe this by using certain Genesis account. 
Did God made Eve just for Adam? 
Many people believe He did the same for each of us (single or married).

My life experience tells me there is not a missing rib, although my mind says this could be so.

What do you think?

Have you found the missing rib or piece?

The poll I thought is:

* Has God made someone for you?
* Have you been made for another person, in particular?
* Have you made an DNA test to prove it?
* How often have you found you are wrong (or the other person) in that match making?

*** Add anything you like (if you like)

P.S.        (Jul 22, 2013)

Although experience tells me there is no one I can say: “This is my flesh and bones”, my faith says God sees me and knows any human need (Gen. 2:18, 20).

While I was a pagan unbeliever I was promiscuous. Perhaps I met the best woman God could have sent, but I kicked her out while sinning with lust and cheating. I can say I met good women, but my concern was sex and not love: Some things cannot be made anew!

When I was young I was punctilious and despised some I considered fat or ugly… Today I´m the same, but I will not flirt with someone I don´t like: I hate lying! And try not to make a mistake twice. Do you like playing games?

Proverbs gives hopes when all seem to be practically gone (Prov. 18:22; 31:10). Prov. 19:14 is excellent when saying marriage belongs to God, no matter how materialistic the world made us to be. You can be rich, but money will not buy you a good spouse.

Have you read the love story of Ruth?

I wish I could hear a woman willing to say those words she said to Noemi (Ruth 1:16). That´s is an unconditional love bond. She showed an unselfish will to SERVE, and both were poor. Do you see?

I know of things like this. I know (and knew) of couples who decided to follow the other. Look at Ruth!

She was young, loving, and a foreigner willing to relocate. She wanted to serve her mother-in-law, another widow and aged woman. Have you seen one like that? We tend to live far from those in-laws.

Ruth was a thankful hard worker lady (Ruth 2:7, 10). Booz was a kind rich old man (with good sight) who wholeheartedly gave orders to let Ruth pick food from his field, as much as she needed (2:8) Have you done anything like this?

God is love! And He gives many his/her second chance.

Deep in me I know He always does the best.

Look at Tina Turner! She is as old as Booz and married a man like me (I hope the opposite case) He! He!

What has made Booz a nice looking man for many? It is just his money?

I guess he was kindhearted, fair (Ruth 3:12-13) and he expected nothing for helping others (No sex that night). I guess he was smart in his business and see he wanted Ruth instead of a piece of land (Ruth 4:3-5). He showed legal concern according to the law and Jewish traditions but, when dealing, he hid his heart from being hurt by others.

I would certainly love Ruth. There´s no need to share your chewing gun, but she is the kind of woman who shares her food (Ruth 2:14b, 18). Is not that loving?

 I would feel self-pity if someone comes to me for money (which I don´t have). I think Tina Turner has made a good choice after more than 15 years sharing with someone she liked, since at our age, we´re not plenty of hopes, like Booz (Ruth 3:10)

There are miracles!

God gives and takes, and we must admit we have failed by sinning and hurting others.

Twins may have some chromosomes in common, but our DNA made us to be unique, the ones we are. Does God help you to be you?  I guess so! He is sweet (sometimes not) and Ruth is a true model to learn from.

I could think of those who like to boast of their flag and nationality, but Ruth left family bonds, her roots for pure family love.

Jesus came from FOREIGNERS. Like those who moved from Sodom to somewhere else.

Jesus was not racist... Who am I to be?

I beg you to read Gal. 3:28.

Of course! You like what you like. I´d like a thin and short woman, same way you may like a big and rich man; but I am far from being perfect, far from being like Booz or Ruth.

I hope you find your second (or third) chance at this life.

A.T.

Not the whole world.

For years, more than a decade, I disliked hearing: “...and the whole world lies in the power of the Evil one”. That sounded me hopeless, sad and “true”.

Those who belong to the watchtower of the Jehovah´s witness abuse it “to explain” the evil in the world; when there are disasters we don´t dare to mention God punishing the earth.

I dislike mentioning God´s name when there are dozens using it to get money (or to get what she-he wants). God has absolute right to do what He does: He is God! (But not the whole world lies under the power of the Evil one).

I have seen Jehovah´s witness seldom vote: That´s their right! But Christianity does not deserve evil men ruling nations. Do we?

“Democracy” gives us a chance to vote for a “better government”, but we are in the mess of unbelieving men and women. Who am I to blame?

I will not blame John for that mistaken idea (I John 5:19). If it were “the whole world” I might infer God is not ruling what He has made -The whole universe!

The Bible teaches me God ordered Sodom and Gomorrah to be destroyed (Gen 19) and before that, He destroyed the whole world with a flood (Gen 7). Who is charge then? I believe God rules from Heaven.

At the beginning I thought there were some pauline ideas crawling around because, apart from Jesus Christ, “we know in part, and we prophesy in part”  (I Cor.13:9-10) If we were divine or angels those limits were present, because we´re not God and we are invited to be like Jesus (I Cor. 2:11b; Col.2:2b-3)

I believe John was right when saying: “They all are not of us” (I Jn.2:19) The idea -here- is complete different because everybody is not God´s people. Some are misguided and some are misleading others. God´s will will prevail.

We need to pass away to see He is right and told the truth. This is not the punishment I deserve for the sinful life I have lived. Pains and earthly toils helped me to change a little. These together modeled my character to be converted to His will, instead of my imperfect desires.

I cannot use an isolated idea to explain the world I like or disliked. There are flaws in me and all the people we are talking as “world”. Some have changed because they surrendered to God´s will and His anointed one.

After reading Daniel (Dan. 4:17b, 26, 32b) some of my misconceptions changed. I believed I could change the world by voting or fighting, but the fight is against evil spirits ruling over many minds of unbelievers (here some Pauline’s ideas fit well). Punishment enforces the worldwide outreach of God´s will, and Daniel´s account teaches that to believers. Who am I to say “the whole world lies under the Evil one”?

Something went wrong when conveying (or translating) that idea of John. That made me feel God wasn´t in charge. I felt it hopeless. No matter how inspired I see John is.

Here the adoption (I Jn 5:19b) depends on my will and God´s will: He invites us and we accept it, if believed because “greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world” (I Jn 4:4)

There is a turning point that refreshed me when I see things done, when I believe BY EXPERIENCE and theory becomes practical truth (2 Peter 2:5).

Sometimes words keep on babbling alone, some looked like nonsense and “Jewish want a sign and Greek want more wisdom” (1 Cor.1:22-23)  What if you see some were predicted?

Daniel foretold Jesus, the Christ, crucified: Daniel 9:26

Some men have counted those times and history proves Jerusalem was destroyed by Titus, AD 70. Who is in charge then?

Daniel 12:10 resumes the world we´re living in. We blame whomever we want but, at the long run, we will give an account and our secret deeds will be exposed to public eyes.

I believe God knows everything and Daniel 12:2 is inspired enough to prove the evil one is not in control, not even a simple man.

I hope my name be found and written in the book of life, to be living (Rev. 20:6, 12, 15) because it is God who rules the whole universe (Daniel 5:21b; 7:13-14).

Is there a quick way to consult God? Jul 2013

Daniel teaches me that there are hindrances, spiritual forces blocking the way for the answers to our prayers (Dan. 20:12-14), but there times where Israel knew God´s will by consulting some precious stones worn inside the ephod (Exo. 28:30).

David (1 Sam 23:2, 4) and Saul consulted God by casting that sacred lot. Saul was not given ultimate answers (1 Sam. 28:6). Sometimes God does not answer by dreams, messengers or the Bible, and personal experiences tell we fail and tend to failures. Have you consulted mediums or spirits? (1 Sam 28:8, 11, 13)

I don´t know if during the lifetime of Jesus the ephod was still in use or if it was worn with the Urim and Thumming to consult God´s will, but I see they were used or missed when all Israel returned to the Promised Land 430 years before Jesus (Neh. 7:65; Ezra 2:63).

Professor J.F. McLaughlin (B.D., D.D.) once wrote: “...this custom of trying to obtain guidance from God by casting a lot belongs to the earliest times and to a very primitive kind of thinking. In later times more spiritual conceptions of religion were introduced by the teaching of the prophets and it fell into disuse...”

What were the lost Urim and Thumming?

I don´t think it was primitive way of seeking God´s will. Sometimes we need His “Yes” or “No” clearly heard and understood. Some may find it old fashioned, but it served God´s people to make their right choices, even at times of family wars (Judges 20:18-23, 26).

I don´t think all are completely wicked and unholy, and those who wore the ephod had the judgment above (and on) their hearts (Exo. 28:30b, 36)

What are the alternative ways of listening God´s will today and now? (I need your help).

I´ve heard of fasting, prayers, reading the Bible... Are today’s circumstances speaking like those Daniel lived to mention God is in control ? (Dan.4:17b, 26b, 32b)

Sometimes we forget to consult God, same way Israel did several times (Josh 9:14). The price we paid for that fault doesn´t bring joy to our life. Each does as he did because sometimes we forget Jesus (or God) as ruling King (Judges 21:25)

Most of the decision I´ve made were thought without God in mind, and I needed His guidance. Christians or not, the world needs God´s direction to succeed.

What would you give to help us sort life out when not having the Urim and Thumming at hand?

A.T.